starting over

A new year, a new start. At least that’s what they say. In reality, it’s never really so easy, never so convenient. You look back on what you have and although you hate it you stick with it anyways because it’s what you’re used to and change is too much work and too scary and besides, it’s too much of a burden to try anything else.

Yet here we are.

I first started this site as a means of establishing some kind of stable online presence, a repository of sorts which I could use professionally as an index of my thoughts and accomplishments (or lack thereof, in retrospect). It ended up being useless in both regards, and I have since abandoned the illusion that I will ever really be successful in this realm in any regards.

Which brings us here, so it goes.

The primary purpose of this new direction is to serve as an unstructured day-to-day (or as often as I can bother with) log of entries. It’s much less formal in intent than the previous design, which was primarily concerned with being a repository for essays (you can now read those on Medium, which ended up being the superior choice for such a purpose in virtually every conceivable manner), and will deal with much more mundane and personal topics than I usually post. If you are one of the very few people in my followers list who followed me for actual content, now would be a good chance to unfollow me.

I’m told that all this might just help me gain a sense of clarity, or at least perspective on my situation – or at the very least, instill an illusion of motion by comparison, and add some weight to the passage of time. I’ve kept extensive notebooks all throughout my life, and honestly, I’m not sure if I’m really convinced of that at all. We’ll see, though. We’ll see.

Anyways, I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post, or this redesign, if anywhere at all. It might just end up like pretty much everything else I’ve developed some passing interest in, going nowhere in the end despite such ambition at the beginning. (Who am I kidding? It most definitely will.) This has gone on far too long. This will go on forever. Who knows? Who knows.